Okay readers, so today I really decided to do a self reflection about why I am still single. To do this I talked to the past guys that I have been involved with and some of my best guy friends. Okay so it is supposed to be "self" reflection, but sometimes you just need a little research. It helps trust me, but make sure you are going to talk to people who will actually tell you the truth. Be prepared. It may hurt.
So what did these guys say? They said that my biggest problem was the fact that I did not have time for a relationship. I wanted one, of course, but I did not have time. I self reflected about it. Truthfully, I barely have time to sit down and eat a meal for 30 minutes let alone sit on the phone for 30 minutes talking to a guy. This is my problem. I don't have time. How can someone be in a relationship when they don't even have time to sit and talk on the phone. I can text. Of course I can. Who doesn't have 10 free seconds to send out a "hey I'm in a meeting right now, but I'll text you afterwards."? There are 86,400 seconds in a day. If someone tells you they don't have time to send out one text even saying "hey I'm super busy I'll text you when I can.", then there is something going on. I think my favorite thing is when someone cannot answer a text, but they can update their Facebook status from their phone...alert readers!
So how am I going to fix this? Well, I think 2013 is going to be all about me. I decided that I am going to start saying no to people, so that is a plus (read "saying no...yes...it's that hard" for more of an insight of why I may have no time...I'm fixing it I swear). So, if I have time, I can do things for myself, including having a guy in my life. Trust me, being in a relationship is one of the last things as a priority, but when you meet someone...someone who your insecurities seem to vanish with and you feel like for once, you would actually make that time for that person...you want to make that time and you want to put them as a priority.
So maybe I will always be a hopeless romantic and maybe, just maybe, I will learn how to set time for myself for things that I want to do...but until then, I guess it is just dating until the right guy for me comes along.
P.S. to all of my guy friends who gave me such great advice...if you are reading this, shout out to you!! You have been such a help and you are great friends!!
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Dating, romance, and all that falls between
Hopeless Romantic. Romance. How could someone not want to be wined, dined, and kissed at the end of an amazing date? I know I do. However, from past relationships I have learned that romance is a dead language with most guys. Sure they want to wine and dine you, but only in hopes they can wine you so much that you are ready to dine into any need that they have. As I have mentioned before, I am in my young 20s...just starting my 20s (gosh all of a sudden I miss saying teen) and I loved to be romanced.
Nevertheless, as I am starting to grow older and way smarter, romance is not dead. I see romance all around. My parents reminiscing about when they were first married, my sister and her boyfriend starting the new-love-glow-in-the-eyes-when-they-look-at-each-other, and the cute old couples who help each other at the store. See what I learned is romance grows. Romance depends on what people want. Personally, I would rather hear "you look beautiful" over "damn you're hot". Also, I really do not find "I really want you in my bed" or "your chest is amazing" to be even a hint romantic...so guys, lay it off...that puts you in the jackass category in my mind and eliminates any chance you may have had with me.
Lesson learned. You cannot change guys. Nope, not worth it. Not worth trying to get a guy you like to think of women on the same page. Not worth it whatsoever. Instead, learn that they are not for you. Move on. Makes life and possibly heartbreak so much easier. Why go for the jackasses whose pleasure in life is to try to put you down and make fun of your dreams? I invite everyone to read this super short article from Thought Catalog's blog about the 7 people you should not date in 2013...its a great read and I am sure once you start, you will realize that you too may have dated someone from each category or one who accompanies all 7. You deserve better than that...so much better. Find a guy who will treat you with the respect and give you the romance that you want and so greatly deserve.
Romance...whether is be a card to say they were thinking about you, a single flower to say they care, or a simple picture sent that reminds them of you. However you see romance, vocalize. Let the guy you are seeing know what you like, subtly...they should know. Relationships are all communication...use it.
Here is the article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/7-people-you-should-absolutely-not-date-in-2013/
Nevertheless, as I am starting to grow older and way smarter, romance is not dead. I see romance all around. My parents reminiscing about when they were first married, my sister and her boyfriend starting the new-love-glow-in-the-eyes-when-they-look-at-each-other, and the cute old couples who help each other at the store. See what I learned is romance grows. Romance depends on what people want. Personally, I would rather hear "you look beautiful" over "damn you're hot". Also, I really do not find "I really want you in my bed" or "your chest is amazing" to be even a hint romantic...so guys, lay it off...that puts you in the jackass category in my mind and eliminates any chance you may have had with me.
Lesson learned. You cannot change guys. Nope, not worth it. Not worth trying to get a guy you like to think of women on the same page. Not worth it whatsoever. Instead, learn that they are not for you. Move on. Makes life and possibly heartbreak so much easier. Why go for the jackasses whose pleasure in life is to try to put you down and make fun of your dreams? I invite everyone to read this super short article from Thought Catalog's blog about the 7 people you should not date in 2013...its a great read and I am sure once you start, you will realize that you too may have dated someone from each category or one who accompanies all 7. You deserve better than that...so much better. Find a guy who will treat you with the respect and give you the romance that you want and so greatly deserve.
Romance...whether is be a card to say they were thinking about you, a single flower to say they care, or a simple picture sent that reminds them of you. However you see romance, vocalize. Let the guy you are seeing know what you like, subtly...they should know. Relationships are all communication...use it.
Here is the article: http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/7-people-you-should-absolutely-not-date-in-2013/
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
On Simpler Times
Classic Nickelodeon. Landlines. Playing outside. Yes...people of my age played outside. I know I may only be going on 21, but I remember when there were simpler times. Times when there was not the fiscal cliff. Times when you were worried about how many people were going to your party instead of how many people you had on your Facebook. Times when the only heart break you had was when you saw your favorite member of a boy band kissing some groupie and it was not you. I miss these times.
This is also one of my favorite conversations with friends. Being able to go back to our childhood and talk about how amazing it was and how the people of these generations are growing up way too fast....if you want to put it that way...is the best conversations that always lead to countless hours of talking. I can't believe when I am out shopping the amount of children under 8 years old who can not only work an iPhone better than I can (I am not about the apple products), but they own them. That's right...no more Gameboys, children these days are walking round with $600 not only phones, but gaming systems on their hips. And by hips....I do mean hips...they are attached to their phones. Most of my friends and family reading that last part I know you are saying "so are you", but again...I am almost 21. If I am not attached to my phone, you would think I was dead or tied up somewhere.
However, these children who know technology more than reading a book have grown up way too fast. I am a fashion major. I love fashion, but seeing these children wear clothes so provocatively and taking these "sink" pictures and the too-well-known "mirror" pictures is not what I want people to think of when they see the word fashion. Let me explain...that IS NOT fashion. These duck faces, "deuces" (let me save you the urban dictionary look up...it means the peace sign), and more grammar mistakes than correctly spelled words are problems to society and to intellect. Oh, not to mention the multiple "z" added to word. For an English minor and a grammar and spelling freak, it is giving me hernias. I don't need old English, but it would be nice to see the proper English language. How can these people be the ones to vote let alone be the ones who you may be voting for?
So advice for all of the people of this generation...be different. Be an older soul. Break the social norm. In the end, when you are succeeding, you can watch all of them and you can be proud that you are not in their shoes. I know when you are that age you want to be popular, but get a really good group of friends who share the same values and mind set as you and I promise you that they will stick with you through thick and thin. Besides an amazing family, I can say that my amazing group of friends have gotten me through the best and the worst of times and for that, I know that miles, busy schedules, and romantic partners will never separate or break the bonds I have with them.
This is also one of my favorite conversations with friends. Being able to go back to our childhood and talk about how amazing it was and how the people of these generations are growing up way too fast....if you want to put it that way...is the best conversations that always lead to countless hours of talking. I can't believe when I am out shopping the amount of children under 8 years old who can not only work an iPhone better than I can (I am not about the apple products), but they own them. That's right...no more Gameboys, children these days are walking round with $600 not only phones, but gaming systems on their hips. And by hips....I do mean hips...they are attached to their phones. Most of my friends and family reading that last part I know you are saying "so are you", but again...I am almost 21. If I am not attached to my phone, you would think I was dead or tied up somewhere.
However, these children who know technology more than reading a book have grown up way too fast. I am a fashion major. I love fashion, but seeing these children wear clothes so provocatively and taking these "sink" pictures and the too-well-known "mirror" pictures is not what I want people to think of when they see the word fashion. Let me explain...that IS NOT fashion. These duck faces, "deuces" (let me save you the urban dictionary look up...it means the peace sign), and more grammar mistakes than correctly spelled words are problems to society and to intellect. Oh, not to mention the multiple "z" added to word. For an English minor and a grammar and spelling freak, it is giving me hernias. I don't need old English, but it would be nice to see the proper English language. How can these people be the ones to vote let alone be the ones who you may be voting for?
So advice for all of the people of this generation...be different. Be an older soul. Break the social norm. In the end, when you are succeeding, you can watch all of them and you can be proud that you are not in their shoes. I know when you are that age you want to be popular, but get a really good group of friends who share the same values and mind set as you and I promise you that they will stick with you through thick and thin. Besides an amazing family, I can say that my amazing group of friends have gotten me through the best and the worst of times and for that, I know that miles, busy schedules, and romantic partners will never separate or break the bonds I have with them.
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